The Greatest Fan of your Life
by daemonlight
Summary: Someone's watching the person they love. Written as a letter.
1. Chapter 1

_The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful  
Stop me and steal my breath  
And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky  
Never revealing their depth_

I take my time watching you. I wonder if you know how often I'm here, silently studying as you get ready to perform. The grace in your movements that so enthralls me, capturing my attention once again. I fight to breathe against the tightness that has settled in my chest.

How exactly it is you manage to get by, always hidden. Does your mask provide an actual barrier; allowing no one to see that which you want to hide? And can you also see without obstruction, staying impartial even to that which concerns you? Do you hold the secret inside you to what I have tried to become; yet dread with each passing moment?

I'm constantly watching for a glimpse, hardly daring to hope. Wondering if I can be found worthy to be entrusted with what you hide. Waiting for the chance to brush your hair aside; to get a glimpse of that breathtaking green you hide away.

_And tell me that we belong together  
Dress it up with the trappings of love  
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips  
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above_

I wish I could find the words to tell you. I don't know what love is, like a lot of other things you all have had to teach me. But I know that I want you to be happy; always and forever.

I don't ever want to be parted from you, but if you find that your happiness lies elsewhere I hope you grab it with both hands and never let go. I have so wanted to tell you but I wish I had some assurance that you wouldn't push me away in disgust.

_And I'll be your cryin' shoulder  
I'll be loves suicide  
And I'll be better when I'm older  
I'll be the greatest fan of your life_

_And rain falls angry on the tin roof  
As we lie awake in my bed  
And you're my survival, you're my living proof  
My love is alive and not dead_

Am I being foolish? probably. I never understood how people could do anything for love. But here I am; wishing you were next to me, leaning on me and holding me in turn.

I was doing so well; never allowing myself to get close to anyone and then I fell for you. I find myself terrified of what may happen; what is happening. But somehow it's become too late.

We have to face so much danger. It's impossible to hold your life so dear to myself and escape with my own being intact. Any day could bring the end of us, and yet there's nothing I can do to change this course I walk.

Damn! I should have been able to anticipate anything. This wasn't supposed to happen.

_And tell me that we belong together  
Dress it up with the trappings of love  
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips  
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above_

_And I'll be your cryin' shoulder  
I'll be loves suicide  
And I'll be better when I'm older  
I'll be the greatest fan of your life_

Know that I'll support you no matter what. Even if you don't feel the same and nothing comes from this I hope this doesn't ruin what we already have. At least I'd like to hope you can find something in me worthy of your friendship.

Anytime you need a friend, don't be afraid to find me; you know where I'll be, or at least how to find me should you need me. I'll be there to listen and try to help you carry your problems. My shoulder is yours to lean on.

I'm always in your audience cheering you on. Don't worry, I'm always behind you 110

Even if it must be from a distance, I'll be nearby watching your back.

_And I'm dropped out, I'm burned up, I'm on my way back from the dead  
I'm tuned in, I'm turned on, remembered the thing that you said_

Do you realize, that I actually try to return from my battles now. I'm trying to change some things I told myself I couldn't control before. You run through my head as I fight and I want to live to see you one more time. I don't know what I have left but I struggle to fight on.

No longer is self-destruction an option I allow myself to consider, unless you should wish it of me.

I remember the few words we have exchanged, and those we haven't. Our silences can portray just as much as what we do say. It all runs through my head as I try to think of what to say...

_And I'll be your cryin' shoulder  
I'll be loves suicide  
And I'll be better when I'm older  
I'll be the greatest fan of your_

So I guess this is it. Though I could probably keep going on; I've probably said enough.

I hope you don't hate me for this... and I understand things will probably change. I just needed you to know.

So even if we die tomorrow, I won't feel like I've left everything unsaid...

_I'll be your cryin' shoulder  
I'll be loves suicide  
And I'll be better when I'm older  
I'll be the greatest fan of your life_

The greatest fan of your life

The show has started and with all the attention directed towards the performers no one notices the small boy slip behind the tents. A single tear falls onto the envelope before the bearer realizes it has escaped. Hastily he puts it down where the one it is meant for will find it. He fades into the shadows once again, pausing only once to look back. Then he starts to run as the shadows take hold of him before he allows himself to doubt what he has done.


	2. Disclaimer

The Characters are not mine. I'm just borrowing them for a while. The song's not mine either. That belongs to Edwin McCain.

This is because I'm stupid and for got to include this ontop of my story.


End file.
